secrets...

everyone has secrets. yet there is no such things as a real secret. because the secret typically involved a second party (person, things/ entity) which is apt to spill the beans.
Hence, to me, the word secret itself is kinda like an oxymoron.

*****************************************
I have a secret lunch partner. someone who will ring me or text me for lunch even though we are so close to each other. And then we will meet in the lobby. Today, i received such a sms again. We met at the lift lobby and rush off to lunch. And on the way, we saw some of the people who know us. No big deal.. but if it so, why do we have to text each other to meet n the lobby when we are merely cubicles apart? strange... i think 2 of us did it without knowing why we did it. Just like sometimes I want to share something with this secret partner and i will send a text. Why can't i walk across and say what I want to say.. dunno.. strange.

*****************************************

I think as i write this, someone is tearing or feeling woeful. because a secret came to light.
or rather what was a normal was brought to light in an abnormal way. Much like how the paparazzi would distort stories and plant little seeds of suspicion in publics mind. after which, it will be meaningless to explain. Why explain when we, as human beings, will think whatever we want anyway. if you are crying.. save the tears, it is not worth it.. to worry about what others may think. I know it is tough, and if i were you, i would want to hide away and never come back, but in situations like this, having a strong sense of self is critical.

I am who i am and what you think have no impact at all on who I am. Not even a little bit.
Your thoughts only reflect on the person that you are, and not who I am.
Be strong.

******************************************
I have many secrets. and i sometimes wonder if they will ever come to light...
I sometimes look at people and wonder about their past.
Much of my long ago past is a secret - but a secret known by only a few people... (see the oxymoron-ness of the word secret).

i hide my secrets, and my past in a little corner of my heart. My brain has chosen to forget it. But some residue could be found in my heart.
secrets are funny things.. they are so tiny that they could be hidden away.. but they weigh so heavy that one bears the burden of it.

I think the burden of keeping something secret is painful.. but yet, i sometimes relish the thought that because of my secrets, I have kept myself "separate" from everyone else. There is always a part of me that the world can't reach, some parts which only some ppl had access to.

they will always remain secrets because it is hard to think abt them, much less talk abt them.
life can be hard.. then again no one ever told me it is easy.