Signs Sign Signs?

For a person who believe quite a bit in signs, destiny and fate, I think the sign-ology is trying to tell me something. Cuz just last week, I blogged when I heard abt X living the last days of her life, and this week, I was told that an ex-colleague whom i respect and like greatly are suffering through the worst, and yes, the LAST days of hers too. and Alone...

I have never met AT, cuz she was my overseas counterpart.
We talked quite a fair bit, and we worked on a couple of projects together. I greatly admired her work ethic and like her as a person: sincere, unassuming, and genuine.

Now i heard she has a disease which makes her brain cells grow smaller, and it is messing up her memory. Today she will remember how to go to the toilet, tomorrow she may have no recollection of how to do such a deed at all. Yes, such disease do exist. And debilitating it is, particularly if one used to be a bright and wholesome person. Such stuff happened to 1 in dunno how many million, so yes, the doctors do not have the cure for it too.

But it is extra painful because the memory comes and goes. It reminds me of the Korean movie "A Moment to Remember", where the actress had a failing memory.. and had to give up her love of her life, as it will be very painful for both whenever she forgets him.. tragic and beautiful, I cried buckets over it, and Nomad was just telling me a few weeks ago her sis kept watching it over and over again, and she recommended me to me not knowing I had seen it (that could be a sign too - all pointing to something). And back then I wonder if such disease really happened to anyone, and now it is happening to someone I know.

The worst for AT is - her husband is seeing someone as young as perhaps, their daughter. AT's mum just passed away recently too. In face of all these, AT tried to end her life - unsuccessfully. And now, she can't continue to stay in SG for treatment cuz her permit does not allow her to or something, but her daughter is pregnant so not advisable to travel probably, so AT has to go back alone to her country.

And she has only about 3 months more to live..

Can you imagine the pain of something like that happening? What kind of choices is there in such situation ... if I put myself in her shoes..

I will not see my grandchild born..
The man I devoted nearly half my life to left me when I needed him most.
The close kin has left me too, an emotional upheaval I do not have the energy to cope with..

Maybe, in face of that, I can understand why suicide may be an option.
My 口头缠 whenever I imagine a bad scenario, or when something bad had happened, I will say "去死了算了".
I think, this situation that AT is in may well really make that statement valid.

And with all these people facing such pain and tough decisions in their lives as X and now AT, with me hearing about them one week after another, I dunno if they are a sign to me..

If they are, I want to say that,

I know there are bigger things in life - my kids have shown me that.
I know I have to show humility and grace and gratitude for what I have, and what I am so far.
I know life is not about work, nor money nor status.. living a life is bigger than that. So I have changed my approach to work. I am still going to work hard, but not at the expense of anything.
I also know that joy is being in the now, in the present..

But I can still feel the tragic-ness for these people I know.. the debilitating effects I may never know, but the loss, or the pain of loss, I can empathise..

My thoughts are with you, even though you may not already remember who I am...

To all the people still out there chasing.. Stop it, Stop it, Stop it pls, before it is too late.