The present

On my 4th day back to work, I had to meet up with a friend/ ex colleague for a business network - cum catch up lunch.

It was surprisingly really enjoyable. My friend is a very candid person, at work, she used to come across as direct and abrupt, but she is very sincere. No falsities, no superficial action and no BS.

And of course, she exclaimed at the amount of weight I have put on, I think I must be darn thin previously. Then she complimented me on my complexion. I took it all in good grace cuz I know she is sincere, and real. She is not getting kicks just from telling me in my face I am fatter now, nor offering false pretenses by complimenting me.

We talked about work, and people and politics and sucky work stuff. Then she told me recent and real incidents of people that we both know at work suffering from cancer.

When she said how futile the fight against cancer was, that "X has stopped chemo", I had to blink twice. In a sense, X has chosen to give up chasing and fighting, but started living out what is gonna be the last journey of X's life.

The fact that the conversation is about the people we know, whom we once spoke to, worked with, smiled at and all, made one sit up and re-think about one's own lives.

We conclude that we should start living. And this gels so well with one of the books I happened to pick up at Borders last night, which was about how the best present for ourselves is "the present".

Now is everything that there is and we have. The past has gone its way and is too late for us to chase nor change anything. The future is something we should not assume will always be there for us.

What we have is only the present. Live in the present. Revel in the present - the goodest, the good, the bad, the baddest.

For X to give up chasing the future, and not lament how X has chosen to spend the past, is realistic and the best present for X. X has chosen to stay in the present. And Enjoy the present.

Start living everyday as if it is our last day.. I think this expression is so apt. Yet so hard to do, we just have to try and make a conscious effort to do it.

So I really regretted being angry at my mum this morning. Those heat in the moment impulses ought to be checked and controlled. And they are not worth our efforts; if today had been my last day, will the issues we fight about still matter?

If you do an audit on the issues we often fight about, chances are - most will not matter if tomorrow is our last day. So perhaps, we should think about issues worth fighting about, and matters worth our attention.

To give up on yourself to pursue wealth, career at the expense of what is YOU may be too great a great price. But we always think misfortune will not befall on us, that we are/ will be the lucky ones. Then, we should express our gratefulness by living each day given to us well.

I dunno what point I am trying to make - too convoluted. But when I return to office and look at my datelines and deliverables, they do not seem so daunting after all. Cuz in my mind, I have relegated them to a small corner of my life. ..